The Gathering Wool Year In Review (Updated)
Two nights ago, the Hecht Family went to Christmas Eve mass at Grace Lutheran Church in Durham. It’s the only church service during the year I go to anymore. It has a paster that leads the singing, a youth pastor that makes $50,000 to put his hands on his knees and ask dumb questions and a candle-lit closing rendition of “Silent Night”. At this service, sitting next to my...
Fantasy Football Drafts: All or (usually) nothing
Above are my draft picks for the two fantasy football leagues I play in. On the left is a 12-team league. On the right a 16 team league. I drafted 9th and 16th respectively and both leagues are very competitive. I am in the championship game of both, a fact that, when looking at these drafts, tells you everything and nothing about fantasy football. Really I could not have done worse drafting my...
The Sexiest Albums of 2011
2011 was a big year for sex. Our politicians were having affairs and showing off bulges. Our coaches were caught playing two hand touch in the shower and, recently, Muslim women were warned by a European cleric to stay the fuck away from bananas and cucumbers. It wasn’t all bad. In June, New York became the largest state in the union to legalize same sex marriage, an allegory for the...
Girls! And Sports!
Above is a picture of Cam Newton moments after scoring in yesterday’s game and setting the NFL record for rushing touchdowns for a quarterback. Here’s some things he could have done with that ball: Keep it in a case on his night stand and wink at it when he’s banging chicks Send it to Canton to sit in a museum Give it to mom for Christmas Give it to the guy in the DeAngelo...
Marvin is a night-shift security guard who lives at my apartment complex. As I was leaving for work, and scraping the ice off my windows, Marvin was just returning from work. I got in my car with just enough ice cleared to manage, when Marvin, completely unsolicited, started spraying my windows with a liquid defroster. That was the first time we’d talked.